Sharing Some Thoughts and a Few Life Hacks This Holiday Season
I love this time of year and, at the same time, I do not. Like many people, I live with the tension of holding conflicting views of the blessed holiday season which celebrates the miraculous birth of Jesus Christ in a beautiful and broken earthly world. The gift of Christ is the light in the darkness. The gift of love and mercy incarnate given to us by our loving Abba Father is the most wonderful of all gifts ever given, to be sure; there is no equal. And to receive and accept this gift for those whose hearts stir with the yearning to be called Child of God is to reclaim one's place in the body of Christ, in the family of the Lord. It truly does not get better than this, does it? Then why do I, and others, feel stress, irritation, sadness, and even grief at times? How can I be so excited and grateful for the gift of the Lord, and often so despondent at the same time?
What fuels the tension? The holiday season- with its celebrations, shopping, family visits, and general busyness can rob some of the joy from this sacred time of year and birth distress because of its frenetic pace, family matters, financial worries, and concerns about finding the “perfect” gift. We forget God already presented the perfect gift in our rush to provide that special moment to our loved ones. Good intentions, but we take our eyes off of God and lose our way a little. Unresolved relationship issues pop up their long-dormant or newly formed heads begging for a fight before dessert has even hit the table and insecurities feel magnified and put upon display under the stress of party planning and social engagements. Here are a few things that may help.
1. Slow down, and build some mini self-care moments into each day. Savor the hot cup of cocoa, tea, or Christmas blend coffee during a 10-minute rest period, do a short meditation or yoga routine, eat something healthy, take an invigorating walk, read, dance, sing, take a power nap if that works for you…then hit the ground running again until your next mini moment!
2. Take a tip from Santa, and make a list. Prioritize, and be realistic in your goals. Ask for help; this can create some wonderful family and friend moments. Delegate what you can; ACCEPT the help when offered, even if it means things may be done a little differently than you would have done it yourself. Who knows-collaboration may breed a new and fun tradition.
3. Be flexible. Perfectionism is truly not a requirement. Our Father God took care of that for us thousands of years ago. It will be okay if your cloth napkins do not match, if there are some rogue dust bunnies peeking out from under the couch, and if the gravy has a little too much fat sitting on top. That is what a spoon is for! You cannot do it all, nor should you be expected to. You are still showing your love for your family and friends by just hosting the party!
4. Expect the unexpected and the expected with grace and humor. Food will spill on the floor or furniture, guests will run late, and that relative everyone knows about will say something you wish they had not said because, “Uh oh, here we go…” Breathe in, breathe out, repeat, and laugh a little. “Laughter is the best medicine” is a saying for a reason!
5. And finally, honor the sadness you may feel this joyous time of year without judgement or shame. Many, if not most of us, have lost loved ones that make us see the empty place at the table with laser focus. We hear their favorite song, engage in their favorite tradition, or realize we may not have known what those things even were; and we grieve, if even a little. If our relationship was not a loving one, our emotions may feel more distressing as well.
Feelings of loss at the holidays run deep and are as unique of an experience and expression as each person who holds them. Know that this is often the greatest tension of the holiday season-joy and sadness living right alongside one another. Please hear that you are not alone in having these conflicting emotions. Notice the thoughts and feelings, and try not to let them take you too far down. Rather, share your memories with others, bond over those memories, and smile, even through tear-filled eyes; and then come back to the present moment of the sights, sounds, and smells of the holiday season. Talk to a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor if you find your joy being overshadowed to the point of being overtaken by your sadness or grief.
And turn to the Lord, who knows us better than we know ourselves (Rom 8:27-37 New International Version), who has not and will not forsake us (Josh 1:5 NIV). Know you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and that you are lavished with love by the Father (1 John 3). The Creator of all gives you the gift of life eternal through the most precious and perfect gift of His Son.
For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6 New King James Version
Know that gift is for You.
Receive and Accept His gift of life, love, and salvation through Jesus.
And know you are His precious Child always.
~Prayers and heartfelt wishes for peace this holiday season~
Written by Beth Anderson, counseling intern
