Forgiveness Matters
I have had the privilege, and I do mean privilege, of co-facilitating one of our now three adult probation groups. I have been so blessed by our group members. I look forward to group each week. In fact, I’m quite disappointed if I’m unable to attend. As it turns out, I’m not the only one that feels this way.
We recently had a member that had missed the previous week and, upon their return, stated, “I cannot miss this group! It is a life line, and when I miss, my routine is off, and I’m tempted to make wrong choices. Staying in the group and receiving support from other members and from the leaders keeps me focused on the main thing- my family, my goals, staying clean.”
Praise the Lord for our groups, which are made possible in part from a grant from the Holland/Zeeland Community Foundation. We’re so fortunate to live in a community that supports mental health work. Now back to the article. Did you notice the title of this article? I don’t often put a title, but this one has great meaning.
Have you ever had to forgive someone that’s hurt you? Maybe this wasn’t physical pain, but emotional, or some other kind of grievance. How did it feel to say, “I forgive you”? Let’s flip this around: how does it feel to have someone say to you: “I forgive you”? Our God is all about forgiveness! He sent His only son to this earth, that He created, so that we could all be forgive our sins. And when our God forgives, He really forgives- He casts the sin away, forgets it, as far as the east is from the west. That is real forgiveness!
We, as humans, can’t do that- we remember. Sometimes our memories become barriers to true healing. We can’t truly let go of the pain and forgive- we hang on tight. Even when we’re able to forgive some tough stuff in our lives, we sometimes still hold onto the hurt, pain, anguish, and will not forgive completely. Oh, we might say we’ve forgiven others, but there still remains one person we struggle the most with forgiving. Do you know who that is?
That “who” was revealed in a recent group meeting. God showed up in a big way. The Spirit was weaving in and out of each chair in the room. You could feel the holy bumps. You knew God was at work. You see, we often are very hard on ourselves- we can forgive others, but not ourselves. Why not? God forgives us. Others have forgiven us. But we don’t forgive ourselves. If the God who created the universe and all that is within it can forgive you- He also created you- we should be able to look in the mirror and say, “Self, I forgive you”. But some things we’ve done are so regrettable that we beat ourselves up over and over and over and over again. Why?
Yes, we’re not worthy of God’s love and forgiveness. If we always got what we deserved, well, truth be told, none of us would be here- no one would be reading this article. Yes, you would not exist if you got what you deserved. I wouldn’t exist if I got what I deserved. But that’s not who our God is- our God is loving, merciful, grace filled God who wants to forgive us. Our God is so full of compassion. Look up Lamentations 3:21-25. Did you read those verses? Do you have hope? God is a giving God; every day He’s compassionate, forgiving, and full of mercy. The Lord has this; He has our backs. Look to Him, trust Him, depend on Him, and He will not disappoint. Your inheritance is in Him.
Our group members are learning these things. I’m so blessed to be reminded of these things. You be reminded as well. Get up, go look in the mirror, and tell yourself you forgive you!
Kyle Thompson EdD LPC
Executive Director
