Choosing Joy
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 30% of American adults experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. It is one of the most prevalent mental health disorders in the nation. Anxiety is a feeling that many try to get rid of as soon as possible.
Something that I tell my clients is that anxiety serves a purpose. Most look at me confused – how could anxiety actually be useful? Anxiety makes us worry about the future and sometimes it leads us to plan for the future. In some cases, that is necessary. There are things in life that we should plan for, like tests or job interviews.
The problem happens when we worry and try to plan for every possible outcome, especially when it is not in our control. In an effort to stay in control, we think of every scenario (usually negative) and how to avoid it. One of the realities of this life is that we are not in control. We can’t always predict how other people are going to act. We can’t predict what events will happen, much less stop those events from happening. We can only control our behavior. When we start to feel anxious, it can be helpful to ask ourselves “Is this something I have control over?”. If it’s not, then we can shift our focus to things that we can control.
Anxiety can also make us catastrophize and believe that the worst possible outcome will happen. That is rarely the case. The most likely outcome is usually somewhere in between the best outcome and the worse outcome. Anxiety can also make us believe that a bad outcome will ruin the rest of your life. The next time you are worrying about something bad happening, ask yourself if this will matter a week from now. Sometimes, we realize that this bad outcome won’t drastically change our life. In those anxious moments, small things can seem life-changing. Asking ourselves these questions when we feel anxious can help us be more rational.
Most of you have probably heard of the movie Inside Out 2. *Spoiler alert for those who have not seen it.* It tells the story of a 13-year-old girl and the emotions inside her head. In this movie, Anxiety takes control of her mind and forces other emotions, like Joy, out. The girl ends up experiences a panic attack because Anxiety grows out of control. After she uses coping skills to stop her panic, there is a moment when she chooses Joy to be in control. Anxiety was still present in her mind, but she chose Joy. In difficult or anxious moments, we can choose to focus on reasons to be happy.
I believe that every emotion has a purpose and no emotion is inherently “bad”. Sometimes we need to let ourselves feel those “bad” emotions whether its anxiety, anger, sadness, etc. Yet, we don’t need to stay there forever. We can choose to have joy too – even in the difficult seasons of life.
Kaitlyn Troxell, MA LLC
